as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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