the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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