Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
