i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
