yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
