real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
