You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
