You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize