the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize