mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i think we sleep fucked last night...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
