***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
