were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
