i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
