I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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