if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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