just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
