Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
