covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
