Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize