idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
