just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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