Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
