It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Found your dick twin last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
