I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
