First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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