How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
