Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
