When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
