Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize