YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
