I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
