Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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