and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize