I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
