super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Someone signed my nipple.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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