that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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