So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize