some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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