i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
