I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
