She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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