i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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