Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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