Princesses don't give blow jobs
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
