I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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