So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Randomize
