the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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