i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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