Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
