"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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