He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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