people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize