I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
