I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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