So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
