Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
