Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
